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The first lessons in parenting

As would-be parents we are making the first sacrifice for our unborn child. We love you Googly, I hope you feel it as you are growing up everyday, every moment…we know you are the most special in our lives. We are lucky you chose us as your parents and we want to be the best companions for you…now and all your life.

It takes 9 months for a baby to reach full term. A month away from Googly’s big debute, I should (according to books and veteren mommies) be jittery, tired and anxious. But I don’t feel any of it. I am suddenly overcome by an overpowering sense of calm and patience. I want Googly to grow well…and in the mean time I want us to be grow a little more, so that we are a better prepared to be parents.

It’s been two weeks since I left Aniruddha in Delhi. The last week in Delhi, being the 1st of my maternity leave went in a jiffy! I was officially nesting – cleaning and scrubbing almost every concievable corner of the house. I would be going back with Googly, so I had to make sure there’s enough place for the baby. The smallest member of the household would take the maximum space…!! There wasn’t a minute in which I rested. My feet hurt, my back complained and I was left with an aching heart as I realised that I’d left my home neglected for so long!! To top it all, at work my team was moving into a crucial phase of an important series! I was feeling guilty for leaving my babies at work at such a difficult point, but I tried my best to iron out all their issues from home. My bosses didn’t approve of it though…and I was subtely made to feel that I was irresponsible and inept! It hurt, but I moved on…telling myself that for the first time in my professional life I have failed…but my baby needs me more now and I won’t let Googly complain, ever!

And it is for the baby that Aniruddha and I are making sacrifices too. For the first time in our relationship (of 10 yrs), we are staying apart…in what would be at least 5 months. Being a partner and wife, this is difficult. He’s the one I share my deepest secrets with…my best friend, a companion and a man who will be a fantastic father! I always considered Jamshedpur as my home…now I realise that home is that which I share with Aniruddha! As we inch closer towards the big day I wanna share every turn, every nudge that Googly makes. I feel the round head under my heart, I want Aniruddha to feel it too…I tell him everything…try to keep the connect as strong as it was until a few days back…and my heart melts when Googly kicks me as I talk about her / him to Aniruddha. It’s as if Googly can hear us…it feels special…perhaps Googly feels our love too! I started writing this post two days back when Aniruddha wanted to eat mutton curry…he bought the mutton, but my cook bunked work!! He had to order out and curb his desire for home cooked mutton curry with potatoes. I nearly cried…and gulped down my own dinner with a heavy heart! I could have done anything to go back to Aniruddha that night…

I am talking to Googly more nowadays. It’s important to introduce her / him to the new sounds, voices and environment that surrounds her / him. Both sets of grandparents are eagerly waiting for the big debut! In almost every conversation Googly is the prime subject. Fruits, fish, milk…everything is bought for Googly now. The baby too is responding to the new surroundings. Grandpa’s car has a new horn, mama’s hand is too strong for her / him to kick back, grandma (dida) touches Googly too gingerly for her / him to realise…when ‘thamma’ talks about Googly to someone else, Googly turns around to hear her voice better. In the middle of it all, some old sounds are getting a little scary…the pressure cooker for instance. I smile, touch Googly and say ‘mumma’ there…now and forever…

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